


031 - Body Fluids

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, body pos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 13:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17468174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: A fic about: Body fluid, disgusting things, and zero boundaries. And Van McCann. // Warning: I’m not joking. This is a fic specifically about various body fluids ending up outside the body and on someone else. For reference: snot, spit, girl cum (what’s that liquid actually called?), vomit, and period blood.





	031 - Body Fluids

Month 1.  
Soon after meeting Van, you were lying on a couch with him, tucked under his arms. He had a laptop open on his legs and you were watching random videos on YouTube. At the exact moment the dog turned dramatically to the camera with its tongue hanging out, Van took a sip of tea. In his laugh he spat the milky liquid all over you. Most of it came from his nose. "I am so sorry!" he laughed, still hysterical but holding his hand over his face. His snot was definitely in your mouth. You should have been revolted, but you were amused and a little in love.

Month 2.  
At a house party you found Van in the kitchen. He'd found the last of the cupcakes. In his hand was the very last of the last of the cupcakes. Before you could even ask for the rest he put it in his mouth. "Spit it out. I want it," you said. "Don't dare me, Y/N," he said with a mouthful of half chewed cupcake showing. You stared at him, playing chicken. He looked at you and tried to figure out if you'd really eat it. He stuck his tongue out. A slimy lump of colour sat there. You gave him one last look, saying 'I'm winning this,' and you sucked the cupcake off his tongue. You chewed and swallowed. You stood looking at each other for three seconds before Bondy appeared. "I saw that and it was fucking disgusting and I'm quitting the band," he said histrionically.

 

Month 3.  
After you officially started dating, you slept together. You were pressed into the mattress on your stomach. Van was on his side with his arm closest to the mattress wrapped under you, holding your body tight and close. The other arm snaked past your tailbone and between your legs. When you came, you came hard. Harder than you knew you could. When the warm salty liquid flooded out of you and down Van's hand and arm, you couldn't stop laughing. "This hasn't happened before?" he asked, pleased with himself. You spent hours swimming in the pool of girl-cum, and Van had to google how to get the stain out of his mattress.

 

Month 4.  
Van told you not to eat the cheese from the back of his fridge, but you really wanted it and you didn't believe food poisoning was real. You were wrong. When your stomach started to ache you told him you were going home, but he made you stay. He rubbed your back while you threw up in the toilet. He leant across you to get a piece of your hair that had fallen out of the ponytail. It was bad timing, and you puked across his arm. He froze for a moment, then laughed and ran his arm under the tap. An hour later and there was surely nothing left in your stomach to throw up. He pulled you into a hug, and in the squeeze the last cup of stomach bile ended up on Van's neck and shirt. He laughed again and you showered together.

 

Month 5.  
You were in a bad mood but you didn't know why. Van tried to help by making you tea, and feeding you M&Ms, but nothing was working. You told him that you just didn't feel good. Ever confident in his abilities to make you feel good, he carried you to the bedroom. He massaged your back and kissed along your collarbones. By the time his hand went below your waist, you were feeling a little bit more relaxed. It lasted only a minute. "Well. I know why you feel like shit," he said. You opened your eyes and looked at him. He was holding his hand up. His fingers were covered in blood. 

"Wow. That's period blood," you pointed out the obvious. He nodded and laughed. He put a load of washing on - underwear, clothes, and sheets - while you sat in the bath feeling sorry for yourself.

 

1 Year Later.  
When your tummy started to balloon with the baby inside, you said, "I feel as though we are going to be really calm parents." He nodded, but asked why you thought so. "Well, we're brutally used to body fluids. It takes a lot to gross us out,"

"Do you remember that time you threw up on me?"

"I was sick. Also, you totally peed in the shower because you couldn't be fucked moving the four steps to the toilet,"

"Everyone does that,"

"I was in the shower with you,"

"Babe. Do ya really want to write a list of all the times our insides have been on each other?" he asked, grinning. You shook your head. He settled in the bed next to you, hand over your pregnant stomach. "You're right. We'll be good."


End file.
